Each parent is obligated to support his or her children. The support payment includes consideration for medical insurance premiums, uninsured medical costs, daycare costs and other expenses. Deviation from the standard calculation, a dollar reduction, may be ordered if the child spends a lot of time with each parent and if there are children from other relationships.

When a parent is voluntarily unemployed or under-employed the court will assume that parent is capable of earning an income and will calculate a support obligation. Each party must file a financial monthly budget. The order will allocate day care and uninsured health care costs on a ratio of incomes. Always keep track of expenses, like uninsured medical costs, educational and sports costs. Support can be paid either through the support registry or to the parent directly if payment is reliable. Never use cash! If you must, get a signed receipt.

Children are upset when they learn their parents are separating. Many adults argue unreasonably. Difficult situations need positive reactions not negative actions from adults. Here are some pointers:

• Bury old grudges: Forgive, forget and move on.
• Relax under pressure: The secret is; first relax.
• Dissolve anxieties: Learn to face anxieties one at a time. Deal with only immediate pressures. Let tomorrow’s problems wait until tomorrow.
• Replace worry with hope: You are the manager of your moods, with the responsibility and freedom to control your emotions. Worry does not help.
• Mend broken fences: The nature of relationships is that they will be strained and broken – forgive that person – and move on; start mending fences.
• Counter the negative with the positive: When someone is angry at us, we get angry at them. When someone insults us, we insult them back. The end result is conflict and anger. Break the negative cycle with your positive reaction.
• Explain your position diplomatically: What are the distinguishing marks of being a diplomat? He is always friendly, he is fair, he is frank and he is firm. Be diplomatic.
• Question respectfully: You demonstrate respect when you ask questions rather than level charges or blame your spouse.

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